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Sunday, December 20, 2015

Latest Gossips from Cameroon…Wondering Whether Father Christmas Will Come..



My country People, happy Sunday to all of you out there. Let God’s abundant blessings reach your homes and hearts at this Xmas. During this period of advent, your Writtam-pen will remain grateful for your continuing support and prayers. Do you know that society is in essence divided into two groups of people – the liars and the lied to? The liars have motivations ranging from the benign (parents presumably) which your Writtam-pen happens to be one and the self- interested. But one group of liars that caught my admiration at this end of year are the politi(thief)cians.
These guys are funny; they always pretend that they can offer heaven when they cannot even give one hell.  Let me be blunt and call this the liar story. I’ve observed evidence that the liar story is true. But people believe different things at different times and in different contexts. When I was writing this piece my little son ran to me and asked when Father Christmas was to visit them. I thought of telling him that there is nothing like Father Christmas and then babbled round and round. The young man left my keyboard happy that Father Christmas was going to bring him something. I don’t know whether there is someone around the corner who can tell us whether Father Christmas existed or not? I am just wondering.
In fact, if you are a physically powerful advocate of the conspiracy story, you may not believe that this is the case – you might think that if I had confessed to have lied, though we all tell the same lies to our kids at Christmas. The funniest thing is that when my daughter appears in from of me, she instead gave me Father Christmas’ telephone number. “Daddy please! Do not forget to call him oo”.
You writtam-pen is not a science student, but worried that there is one thing science can’t do. That is tell us what stand to take on science as a come within reach of to truth. Some scientists and philosophers of science will deny this and say that of course science tells us how we should approach our lives and the rest of reality. Obviously, science tells us that we should do it scientifically. But when they’re saying that, they’re not doing science – they’re doing science journalism, or maybe science advocacy. OMG
County people, the week ended with the Members of Parliament and the Senators packing their bags back home after spending a month in Ngola battling over their allowances but your Writtam-pen is aware that some MPs continue to frustrate people with lies. Others have switched off their phones as soon as their allowances were paid while others just disappeared into the quarters in Ngola to drink their lies in beer. I know when of them who pledged FCFA 25.000 since August and has been unable to comply to his promise. Chaiii!
I told you that Popoul is a very smart fellow. The man has again sent the Sparrow hawk on roofs waiting to make new catches at Xmas. I hear frail looking Mbapes Bapes, the arrogant Mebe Ngo and others have been on hot seats. It’s a pity. I think Popoul should do same to all those guys who have been suspected of having pocketed our gombo so that they can sit up. Popoul has finally discovered a panacea, a psyche-test of honesty.     
Do you know that Cameroon behaves like a jungle? In the jungle life is short, uncertain and the fruits thereof are uncertain given that everyone is suspicious of everyone. Many people including your Writtam-pen have been questioning whether it is not a government policy to allow things to go wrong? Our CAMIARCO has been in a state of comma for long. I am sure it may soon kick the pocket as some costumers have gone on hunger strike. What a jungle-like country with passengers sleeping at airports? Passengers who were stranded in Paris have been weeping.
Talking about life in the jungle, have you ever heard of a jungle where the woman is the king? I hear the GM of CAMTEL is currently having hard times with the Minister of Post and Telecommunication, Likeng Li Minnette. Fantastic, isn’t it? Have heard about the missing GM of the Cameroon Port Authority? I hear a new GM has been appointed. The Board chairman I am sure is a superman. The man has seen many come and go, while he is still there.
Do you know that the Fulanis are becoming an alternative to creating and solving their own problems? Listen to Waai condemning another you cannot imagine. MBOSCUDA versus SODELCO/Ardos Union is like fire and petrol.
Kai walai, can you imagine that beautiful journalism and Journalese practices have reached its crescendo in Bamenda?  Those who took the pains to travel to the hills of Ndawara this Saturday to join Baba Danpoullo in celebrating his Forbe ranking as were not only taken aback by the state of nature of the road but by the way journalese-ism has chopped the profession. (Details of the Ndawara trip up next)

 



When News Breaks Out, We Break In. (The 2014 Bloggies Finalist)

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