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Saturday, May 14, 2016

Prostitutes Adopt New Methods; Some Turn to Professional Mourners, Others Pick Pockets

 Prostitutes in Cameroon have resorted to other methods. This is as a result of the fact that the long established method of tradition of waiting for the costumers is no longer yielding the required income. Apart from wearing very revealing and sexy dresses free women have decided to invest a little more on the business. It is very common to see some of them



Leaving the Mortuary with Mercenary Tears.
Many free women now attend funeral ceremonies of people they have never known just to have the opportunity of meeting with well-to-do costumers and or make new catches. They start at the mortuary while family members, friends and well-wishers of the deceased are busy with corpse removal. In Nigeria for example, they are known as the “area girls”, but here we name the professional mourners. Meet one of them at a funeral; the first attraction is that they are either making or fun of receiving very long imaginary phone calls. The essence of this is to attract the attention of mostly the “bush fallers” or new catches whom they are targeting.
It is worth noting that these prostitutes dress to kill, expensive black dresses, high heel shoes, sparkling earings and lipsticks with expensive perfume to complete the sophisticated make-up. They also carry large “go-no-come bags” in which they have other dresses and toilet requirements. They are called “go-no-come bags” because the owner leaves ready to spend the night elsewhere quite commonly in hotels or elsewhere their costumers would like to sleep with them. Besides, these free women who include students and jobseekers whose parents and guardians no longer provide their basic needs talk-less of enabling them acquire expensive gadgets, like smart phones, I-pads, laptops etc. They are present in churches where the requiem mass or service holds. There they don’t only take active part in the singing and dancing, they also go for offertory as many times, as possible dropping mainly yellow coins into the offertory basket in a bid to seek notice (attract attention of would-be costumers).
During receptions, they are uncommonly active, serving mourners but doing so selectively. Their favourite mourners are always the well-to-do including bush fallers, business magnets and top civil servants. Thanks to their ability to wear seductive smiles, they end up with a telephone number of their targeted victim. Those who succeed end up into new jobs, travel abroad and or even marriage while the unfortunate ones return home with a well stocked purse or with a full stomach.  Another latest innovation that is paying and paying these women very well is the

Prostitution in Buses
This is a common strategy used by some free women in pursuit of making new catches. This is very common with prostitutes in Douala and Yaounde. These prostitutes usually with well manicured nails and very sexily dressed pay their fares, after ensuing that her seat is as near as possible to that of somebody they know is very rich. Some of them have eyes of hawk when it comes to detecting a rich man. While the bus is moving, she engages in a swift conversation. The last time I traveled from Bamenda to Buea, I discovered that the couple infront of me had just met that day. The lady was so drunk to the point that she spent the journey crying and vomiting. She must have caught a good catch and ended up sucking her in whisky. As we got to Buea, she immediately disappeared with her new catch. She had struck a good deal with him. Quite often she goes back home with a good chunk of money and the phone number of her new catch. While some have developed these new skills, others have turn to

Pick Pockets
This is the most recent strategy developed by women with hardened consciences to fleece men of their hard earned FCFA. Since men no longer dip their hands into their pockets often or readily enough, criminal minded women have resolved to remove the money themselves. Of late, I witnessed a scene in Nkambe that kept me wondering. Two young girls had landed in the town and two young guys wanted to pull a smart one. The girls immediately asked for FCFA 5000 each.  After concerting, one of the guys said he had money and home. Upon return, his partner of the day was standing by the door. She immediately dips her hands into his pocket and removed all the money. Being a married man, the young man went on his knees but the girl said she would prepare her “come-no-bag before coming back to hand back his money. Few minutes later, the young man was shocked to hear that the girls had left for Ako.
A “clando” driver on the Ndop-Bamenda road recounted how a beautiful girl working with male accomplices boarded his car one day from Ndop. She had tactfully chosen the front seat where sat the old man. This man had just withdrawn the sum of FCFA 300.000 from a financial institution. The young woman had carefully monitored him. The driver who suspected what the girl was up to and fearing dire consequences tried to caution the elderly man through signs. But the expert prostitute was smarter. With a mellifluous voice accompanied by frequent smiles and caresses carefully engrossed the attention of the man.
Having failed to bring the man to reason the driver advised him to drop at Bambui giving excuse the police control post at mile 6 about 2 kilometers ahead. But the now lovesick old man rejected the advice arguing that he had paid his full fare. Rather it was the prostitute that opted to drop after accomplishing her mission and giving Pa a fake telephone number. Her mate equally dropped. It was only at Mobile Nkwen where his journey ended that he realized that his FCFA 300.000 had disappeared. It was then that the driver explained to him that he had done everything to make him understand that the girl was a pick pocket. But in many cases drivers are always accomplices with the pick pockets. From every indication, women like expert hunters have learnt “to shot without missing men” reasons why men have to learn like “birds to fly without missing” through non-stop vigilance.


(First published in The Independent Observer)

When News Breaks Out, We Break In. (The 2014 Bloggies Finalist)

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