6 Terrible Things Men Should Never Do

According to experts, all men who aspire to make an impression in the bedroom must avoid these terrible things during s*x. 

When you are down doing the bedmatics business, here are six things you must avoid doing so as not to ruin your chances of satisfying your partner.

1. Farting

Farting is the most off-putting thing a man can do during s*x! A whopping 47 per cent of participants said farting during the act is the fastest way to spoil the mood.

 

 

2. Orgasming and sleeping over.

Orgasming and then rolling over. This was revealed as the second rudest bedroom habit with 41 per cent of the votes.

 

3. Boast about performance. 

Boasting about (sexual) performance came in third, with 12% of women saying it was a turn-off. This complaint is tricky, though; as a new report titled, “Do Women’s orgasms function as a masculinity achievement?” reveals that men feel more manly and sexually empowered after a woman orgasms.

The study, published in the The Journal of S*x Research, asked 810 men to imagine that a woman had orgasmed or not orgasmed during s*x with them.

 

4. You Attack Her Clitoris.

Orgasm doesn’t happen via clitoral obliteration.

“Men think ‘clitoris, clitoris, clitoris’—they think it’s all about the clitoris, so they focus on it,” Lorraine says. “But they don’t realize it’s incredibly sensitive. It doesn’t need to be jackhammered or be the sole focus.” 

 Instead of going straight to high-speed stimulation, start by very slowly stroking her clitoris—and let her body tell you when it’s time to try a new move.

 “Sometimes women will shift their partner’s fingers aside or shift a little bit because it’s getting too sensitive,” says Lorraine.

 

5. Finish Too Soon

Perhaps the most common trouble faced by men, premature ejaculation afflicts nearly every newbie and plenty of experienced dudes. Avoid going out on a date with a "loaded gun" to prevent sharing a nickname with Usain Bolt, "The Fastest Man on Earth." If it's too late for that, imagine your grandparents playing baseball. Naked. It will keep you from orgasm for hours on end.

 

6. Call Her By Another Name

There is no greater offence than forgetting who you are in the process of penetrating. Punishable by a minimum sentence of two weeks abstinence, up to a maximum sentence of death, calling a woman by another name is an almost surefire way to ensure she will never want to see you again.

 

Which, I guess, could be a good thing depending on the situation... In that case, before you attempt something this crazy, at least make sure the evening is coming to a close and all sharp objects are out of sight.

When News Breaks Out, We Break In. (The 2014 Bloggies Finalist)