Have You Heard the News from Camer? Part One

Massa Writam Pen

My people, can someone kindly tell me why it is taking too long for Popol to dismiss all these ministers, minister delegates and secretary of states? I hear he is rather contemplating on changing the constitution to scrape off the post of Prime Minister and introducing that of Vice President and not dismissing cabinet ministers as expected. Who said Popol has no conscience on the marginalization of Anglos? The other day someone so close to power hinted me that Popol may likely summon an extraordinary session of the National Assembly to table a bill on the revision of the constitution. But I think he may wait for the March session for it to happen. I am praying for Yang Philemon because if the post of Prime Minister is scraped off, he is likely to go jobless. Maybe be my brother Yang could be catapulted to head the Constitutional Council. Senator Niat Njifenji Marcel too is likely to lost the privy as the constitutional successor of the head of state as Popol is very determine to fashion Cameroon to look like Obama’s USA. Do you know that Uncle Sam’s Obama has invited our illustrious head of state to attend AGOA in October this year? I am sure when he will get to the USA; he will be telling Obama how Camer is like the US with Vice President, Senate and Parliament. Bravo

Have you heard the latest? The trumpeted 50^th Anniversary of Reunification or sorry (53^rd anniversary) let me put in French so that we remain within the context “cinquantenaire” may likely take place on February 11, 2014. I spotted Roger Belinga Eboutou, the Director of Cabinet Popol at weekend in Buea claiming a lot of importance. He was surely assigned to cross-check the level of preparedness. I am sure some of us might have forgotten the significance of February 11, which is celebrated as Youth Day. My father told me that it was the Plebiscite Day but history distorted it to be known as Youth Day. I do not know what it means anyway. What baffles me is that ever since Popol announced that the “le cinquantenaire” was to be celebrated in Buea, he has kept the date to himself as if it is a state secret. I was told Roger Belinga left Buea with a satisfactory note at work-done, hopes have risen again that Popol may storm Buea to grab his PHD in Political Science. A close friend to the chairman of the local organizing committee has confirmed that 111 hotels of 2500 rooms have been identified, 18 parking spaces and the water capacity has been augmented from 3000 to 7000 m3. I wish the ceremony is postponed again for my people of Buea to benefit more lofty projects. Do you know that Popol coughed out FCFA 13.5 billion to sponsor reunification projects? I have spent two days pondering on what Popol tell Cameroonians when he finally comes to Buea? Will he declare the independence of Southern Cameroons as purported by Nfor Nfor and others or will he adhere to the idea of UN state of Cameroon as administered by Prof. Chia and co? I am sure you all heard about the explosive publication by Global Times (smoked screened as based in Nigeria) announcing that 16 States in Nigeria have decided to join the UN State of Cameroons. Could it be a scam by Prof. Chia and co to get my retired fathers of their hard earned currency that independence is at hand? Last week news circulated that Lucky Goodluck Jonathan was coming to meet his brother Popol for a tete-a-tete. I imagined that he was coming with a more serious agenda but he was no way found. You already know the controversy surrounding those 16 states that allegedly decided to join the UN state of Cameroons, you may have heard of the Boko Haram kidnapping and how they see Cameroon as a source of financing. I cannot say precisely whether any ransom was paid for the release of French tourists and Priest that were kidnapped. You know that a week ago Nigerian troops encroached into Cameroonian soil to bomb Boko Haram targets. I got a hint that some guys were arrested up North with guns and bullets. They say they were from Sudan and were heading to deliver them to members of the Boko Haram sect.  

This country has fever! You know when the state of mind is not free; we can consul ourselves by listening to music. But I am now convinced that Cameroonian musicians will die of abject poverty with Mafor Yaah Yefon Ama Tutu Muna as Minister of Arts and Culture. The Socam/ Ndedi Eyango saga is still topical. You know when two elephants fight, the grass suffer. I hear the issue of double nationality is giving Paul Biya Bi Mvondo a lot of headache. Always, Mafor Yaah Yefon Ama Tutu Muna has proven to be a superwoman. She violated the Supreme Court verdict sometimes ago and nothing happened to her. This time, I am sure that she must have stepped on wrong toes. Is she really aware that someone like Ndedi Eyango who sang “You must Calculate” is not a man to pigeon-hole with? Can you imagine that Ndedi Eyango who was born and breed in Nkongsamba, and whose parents are still living in Nkongsamba is said to be an American? What about those ministers, MPs and Mayors with French and American nationalities? I know a score of them. Let me ask this stupid question, is Ama herself a Cameroonian? Someone murmured to me that she is a Senegalese, but I do not know how true. You know the latest in Camer now is the creation of normalization committees. Ama also created one with San Fan Thomas as chairman but unfortunate she made very wrong choices. Three members have thrown the towel to the dogs. The talkative Prof. Owona Mathias Nguni and two others say they cannot be part of the masquerade. I hear the SOCAM saga ignited from the sharing of money. Ndedi Eyango said is a victim for refusing to be part of a chopping arrangement. Wow. I hope you are aware that the French Court finally ruled that our Longue Longue could return back to serve his prison term here if he coughs out FCFA 35 million into the French treasury. I do not know how feasible and how he will get such a huge amount. You know this Iyebo people are tricksters, they give you a goat but hang on the robe. Another Cameroonian giving Iyebo headache is Dieudonne Mballa. Have ever heard that name before? I hear he is a torn in the flesh of Iyebo people there in France. Rumours abound that he was caught with huge sums of money on his home. Oh lala.. I hope he helps Longue Longue to get out of the mess.

Did you hear John Ntarinkon’s declaration? Papa Suffer has finally confirmed that he will go back to TB Joshua again. John Ntarinkon is not sick but says it is Cameroon that is being chopped by injustice. And that only Prophet TB Joshua can deliver Cameroon from injustice reasons why he took Cameroon flag to Lagos and handed it to TB Joshua to pray and fast over it for justice to prevail in Camer here.  But we are still to know whether it was TB Joshua who asked him not to attend New Year wishes at the Unity Palace. Could it be?  Oh! Poor Cameroon!!

I hope you got the sound of the government Vuvuzela last week. The echoes of France 24 certainly removed Tchiroma from the Mandara Mountains where he took refuge after a serious bash at the September 30, polls. You see how powerful Iyebo power can be. I hope you also watched the documentary on France 24 on how homosexuals are persecuted in Cameroon. The state vuvuzela sound hard on Iyebos that Cameroon is land for polygamy and not barbaric homosexuals. Such barbaric practices he said will not be accepted here and that even the Bible and the Koran are all against it. The constitution too doesn’t accept men and women of the same sex to get married here. It is a taboo the sound of the vuvuzela goes firing. But what he did not say was that only some of them (ministers) are honored to practicing it in order to get supernatural powers to rule and remain in the corridors for power for decades. Those who are promoting it putting are not doing so against the state but trying to destroy humanity Tchiroma says.  Tchiroma also turned to the local media to help rescue the image of Cameroon which is being tarnished by a certain Iyebo channel.

I hope you must have heard of a love affair that ended up in tears and deaths at the University of Bamenda. You must have heard the story of a young Bami who matched his girlfriend to pieces at Bambili. The young man too we hear drank a concoction as angry mob finally stabbed him too and he died instantly. Luciene and Larent maybe somewhere in another world reflecting over their love errors that has put the security of students at UBa to question. Oh my Poor Edokat. I just received a telephone call from a friend of mine indicating that a mighty storm is gathering to sweep Tafah Edokat, the VC of UBa. You quite remember how on January 21, 2013, youths of Bambili went on strike to express their dissatisfaction. Now, Anglophone MPs, Civil Society, Clergies and Teachers Trade Unions are allegedly mobilizing to denounce the way the Higher Technical Teachers Training College is managed. They say Edokat has allowed Francophones to flood the institution; lectures are in French etc etc…It is hot in Bambili.

Bye-bye to Bobe Francis Yong. Pa Yong who died in Atlanta was buried in his Anyajua village today. I thought Popol was going to declare an official burial for him. He was a true patriotic Cameroonian and real nation builder. I am praying that his legacy should live as long as river Nile. You know Pa Yong was the only Northwesterner who could be compared to Farfre in the Mayor of Casterbridge because everything that he touches grows. He empowered children of the rich and the poor, the young and the old, the poor and the rich. In fact story long but time short. See you next weekend….bye-bye.

When News Breaks Out, We Break In. Minute by Minute Report on Cameroon and Africa