How
do you end a friends with benefits situation on good and still keep
your friend when things go south? Why is it ending? Did they catch
feelings and is it mutual? You will find this article very helpful in
answering these questions.
File photo (Image: Health Facts)
Friends with benefits (FWB) sounds like a simple "no strings attached"
agreement. You can talk openly, laugh, hang out and have s*x without
the drama that comes with being in a relationship. You both know what
you got yourselves into, knowing that it may not last forever.
It is never as easy as it sounds because things often lead towards
complications. In this situation, feelings are likely to erupt and, when
these feelings come from only one person, it becomes much more
complicated than you ever signed for.
Hopefully, these tips will help you know how to end a friends with
benefits situation and remain friends. It may not be easy, but it
doesn’t have to be as hard as you think.
1. Appreciate them
Make sure they know you appreciate them as a friend and care about
your friendship, but you think the benefits have run their course. It
was fun while it lasted, but it is time to move on.
2. Ask if they are upset
After all, they are your friend. Talk to them and ask if they saw
it coming. Try to communicate as effectively as you can. Let them know
why you want to end things and make sure they know you are still there
for them as a friend.
3. Prepare them
They are a friend of yours and may be following you on social media
and seeing you around. If you are entering into a relationship or the
dating scene, let them know ahead about it. Let them not be taken off
guard when they see you making out with someone, even if they didn't
develop feelings for you.
4. Take a break
If they did develop feelings, or you did and want to get out before
the feelings get more intense, take a break and get some space before
going back to being just friends. Let them know that you think things
are getting more complicated than you planned. Just make sure you are on
the same page about maintaining your friendship.
5. Don't avoid them
Developing a friends with benefits situation with someone meant
that you both agreed to be honest. If you plan on being friends after
ending the benefits, ghosting is not an option. Refusing to answer them
afterwards and leaving them high and dry is both rude, disrespectful and
cowardly. No good friend should act like that. Just let them know how
you’re feeling. They will understand if they are a good friend.
6. Let them grieve
Since this is sort of a breakup, give them time to be upset. As I
said, it is a sort of break up. This news might be shocking and
upsetting to them, so give them a chance to come to terms. You can reach
out to hang out but give them the space they need. Eventually, they
will understand and your friendship should survive.
7. Stick to your decision
If you are ending your friends with benefits situation to start
dating again, but then have a bad date, don't expect them to wait around
with open arms. Picking up a friends with benefits relationship after
ending it is confusing and will make your friendship even more
complicated.
8. Talk to someone
If a trusted mutual friend knows about your friends with benefits
situation, talk to them. Ask for suggestions or if your friend is also
thinking about ending things. It's good to prepare yourself with
information but do it respectfully. Also be careful not to share
anything too private.
9. Do normal things
Ending your friends with benefits relationship doesn't have to feel
like a break-up. Keep hanging out with your friend and doing things you
did together and things can drift back to normal. If you have a strong
foundation, with truth and routine, you can swing back really quickly.
10. Don't push it
As much as you may want to stay friends, not all FWBs can survive
as friends without the added benefits, whether it was due to feelings,
betrayal or lies. If this is the case, let it be. It will be if you are
meant to stay friends. But do not drag their name in the mud because
they couldn't get past it or vent to people. Entering into an FWB
situation is a risk you took.
Source: Guardian Life
When News Breaks Out, We Break In. (The 2014 Bloggies Finalist)
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