Some
girls have it all - money, good looks, well endowed etc. But, many have
found it very hard to settle down with a man. Here are the reasons why
and what you must avoid.
Have you heard women complain about the ‘fact’ that there are no
serious men to marry these days? According to these women, who are often
in the mid-twenties, men just want to date-not to settle down. Mark
Maina opens up on why most women have found it difficult to settle down
with a man.
He said what these ladies fail to understand is that guys are very
particular when it comes to choosing someone for a serious relationship
that could possibly lead to marriage.
A woman can be beautiful, funny, intelligent and ambitious, but all
these good virtues can be nullified by one or two negative traits. The
following is a list of the 7 least desirable traits in a lady:
1) The ‘Socialite mentality’
The ‘socialite mentality’ is a disease that seems to have afflicted
most 20-something year old ladies. Signs of this malady are manifested
by sudden realization that one is the ‘hottest’ in the continent hence
the need to divert the world’s attention from the lost Malaysian plane
to them.
The infected wear skimpy clothes, and capture their ‘amazing’
outfits on a cheap android phone and proceed to post these pictures on
Instagram.
If you want to capture the attention and earn the respect of the 7
billion people on earth go the Lupita Nyon’go’s way. Explore your
talents, develop your ideas and work relentlessly until you break a
record. Then only the men leading equally successful lives will have the
guts to ask you out.
2) Anti-family
Any responsible man holds his family with highest regard. He will
go out of his way to create time for his parents and take very good care
of them at all cost. Before considering a lady for a serious
relationship, a man will first try to ascertain her view towards family.
If she disrespects her parents, lives oblivious of her siblings
welfare and dislikes kids then she is considered anti-family. In the
guy’s mind the lady will make a poor wife, starve his aging parents and
probably chase away his siblings whenever they visit.
There is also a crop of ladies who are so close to their
fathers/mothers yet raise ruckus whenever the guy wants to spend some
quality time with his family, especially his mother. Trying to compete
with a guy’s mother for his attention, especially before he slips the
ring into your finger, is a lost cause.
3) Ultra-religious behaviour
It’s every man’s wish to get a wife with strong religious beliefs
so that his kids can grow up with some sense of morality. However, there
is a clear line between being a staunch believer and a fanatic.
It raises red flags when the lady quotes her pastor more than the
good book and uses his/her words to justify her actions. It’s quite
annoying for a girl to go for prayer meetings every weekday, ‘Keshas’ on
Saturday’s and hardly spare anytime to hang out with you, her
boyfriend.
The guy ends up feeling like a total stranger and worst of all if
she insists on going to church without a bra and panties because the
bishop said that’s what is inhibiting her blessings. Strike a balance
between your love and spiritual life. Also, refrain from demonizing
anyone who doesn’t subscribe to your beliefs but instead practice
tolerance.
4) Lack of ambition
If you wish to have a guy consider you for a serious relationship,
then you should at least get focused with your life. Get your priorities
straight, have ambitions, work towards achieving your goals and take
your studies or job seriously. If all your ‘future plans’ happen to be
on where the next coolest party is then don’t expect any guy to take you
seriously. All men subconsciously consider ladies who bear qualities
close to their mothers as eligible candidates for serious relationships.
Practice moderation, striving to be responsible and industrious.
Every man wants the assurance that the lady he is getting hitched to is
hardworking so that incase he passes on, his children will never sleep
hungry.
5) Extreme materialism
Since the days of the cave men, women only mate with those who can
provide and protect their families. However, it’s totally wrong to stick
with a guy just because he can afford to sustain your expensive
lifestyle only to disappear when their cash flow recedes.
It’s easy to spot a gold-digger. All she wants to do is hang out in
fancy places, shop in high-end boutiques and attend exclusive parties.
When you are together, you never get to have any meaningful
conversations or share intimate details about your lives.
Once a guy realizes you are just there for his possessions, he
re-strategizes. You become his trophy girlfriend. He may buy you a nice
car and a house but will have them both under his name. In the event you
go separate ways, he will send goons to repossess the car and throw you
out of the cool crib.
6) False sense of importance
Such a lady has a bloated ego and false sense of importance. She
acts like she is doing the guy a favor by being with him. He is,
therefore, expected to be so grateful that he worships her and the
ground she walks on.
It’s rather draining to date a lady who is convinced you were
sorely created to serve her. She will expect you to drop all your plans
and run to her side whenever she wants. Since she believes that she can
get any man on the planet, whenever you fight she is inclined to issue
ultimatums.
This kind of lady snobs the people she considers to have poor
tastes ranging from fashion, music all the way to cuisines. For such a
lady, a long term relationship is out of question. A guy who wants to
settle down would rather go for someone who is humble. She should be
able to associate well with everyone from the house help to the
obnoxious friend.
7) Selfishness
Sometime back, a girl I really liked invited me over to her place
at around 7pm. I immediately rushed there and found her preparing
dinner. I’m not passionate about cooking, but you know how women can
inspire a guy to do things they wouldn’t on a normal day. So I helped
with the preparations and the meal was ready within an hour.
I found it odd that she only served one plate then I thought maybe
she wanted us to share. To my surprise, she went curled up on the couch
opposite me and ate everything on her plate.
She even had a second serving (clearing the pot in the process)
before asking “Dear, did you take supper before coming over?” The
funniest thing is that all the time I spent there with her she kept
hinting how we would make a great couple and probably marry after
college. Just be honest, would you seriously consider getting hitched to
a lady who has the audacity to take two plates full of food without
offering you a single bite?
When News Breaks Out, We Break In. (The 2014 Bloggies Finalist)
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